I was trying to remember what topics from the old forum had yet to be posted, and I remembered this bit of gold. There were some pretty funny, albeit off color, jokes in the previous thread. Let's continue this grand tradition.

Now for those of you who remember me from the old forum, you may remember that I had some particularly lewd jokes. If this somehow offends you, then I wouldn't suggest continuing to read this post, because I have a very lewd and disgusting joke to tell.

Three guys on a farm were playing truth and dare. Things were kept reasonably tasteful. That is, until the farmer's daughter came into view of the second man. The farmer's daughter was the very description of ugly in every conceivable manner. She had hair in the wrong places, buck teeth, and zits and pimples all over her face. The sight gave the second man a nasty plan.

"Hey Chuck, I dare you to fuck that ugly girl."

The third man blanched at the mere thought of it. But eventually, he gathered enough nerve and took the daughter into the barn, and closed the front door. Next, he went out the back door, got several ears of corn, then re-entered the barn and closed the back door. He then led her up into the loft, and put a burlap sack over her head. Then, he shoved an ear of corn up the daughter's vagina. Puss immediately exploded all over the ear of corn, and the man had to fight to maintain his composure, and not hurl all over the place. He tossed the ear of corn out the window. He then took several other ears of corn, and repeated the procedure. The daughter was moaning like crazy, and the guy kept tossing ears of corn out the window. Finally, he ran out of ears of corn, and took the sack off the daughter's head. Thoroughly contented, the girl left the barn. The guy left soon afterwards.

The guy walked over to his friends with a haunted look on his face, and they were rolling on the floor, busting a fucking gut. They then said, "Ahahaha! While you were in there fucking that ugly bitch, we were out here eating buttered corn!"

Ooo! I'm going to have to try to think of some!

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure...
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

These are not jokes, but chat happenings.

Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a f**k soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes

<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.

<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, f**k.

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12‹61912›)

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat



Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god

I have a few i remeber from Fallout 3

"two atoms are in a bar, one turns to the other and says, 'i believe i lost an electron'. The other atom says, 'are you sure?' to which the first atom replies. 'im positive."

"I was going to attend the clairvoyant's meeting, but it was cancelled due to unforseen events."

"Atoms have mass? I wasn't even aware they were Catholic."

"A neutron enters a bar and asks,'how much for a drink?" he asks. The bartender replies "For you, no charge"

"I once visited a crematorium that gave a discount to burn victims."

they are all i can remeber now, enjoy!

Oh I'm crap at jokes but what the hell!

A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth." "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." "Yes, I know." "So, why did you come in here?"

Spoiler:
	The light was on...

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